Monday, July 11, 2011

We have perfect love from God, what else is there to fear?

Fear isn’t something that I think about every day. Instead, it’s something that I only notice when I’m home alone at night, or when I’m driving in a bad storm and can’t see the lanes (those are two of my biggest fears!).  But yesterday I was smacked in the face with truth about fear, love and God, and I realized that I have legitimate fears that keep me from having a deep and personal relationship with God.  When I heard the message at church it was like something finally sank in, and the only thing I could do was pray.

From the beginning of the sermon, one particular fear wouldn’t leave my mind. My fear of the past. The past is over so there can’t be anything to fear, right? Well, not exactly. God has created a unique story in my life over the past four years or so, and it’s crazy to me when I reflect on what I’ve done, what I’ve been through, and more importantly what God has done and how he has changed me. God has transformed me from the inside out. Literally. 

The fear that I associate most with my past is the out part. I am the same person that I was in high school, but if you knew me in high school you would agree that I’ve changed. Even though I can see goodness and maturity in the way that my appearance has changed, it is dramatic for people who knew me before. It can be scary and embarrassing to be seen by old friends and other people from home.

Are you lost yet? Let me fill you. In high school I briefly struggled with an undiagnosed eating disorder and was extremely thin my Junior and Senior year. God is continuing to redeem the brokenness in my heart that was associated with that, but this redemption didn’t come without a noticeable change in my appearance. I hope and pray that instead of seeing the dramatic physical change that I’ve went through, people will see the change that God has made in my heart and that they would see the true beauty of Christ that I now reflect.

So what else did I learn about fear today? I learned that an unhealthy fear is actually a result of a misplaced love. Surprisingly, fear and love are closely connected to each other. A fear of failure is really a love for success. For me, my fear of the past is actually a love for acceptance and beauty.  Like many girls I desire to be accepted and thought of as beautiful by other people.

Fear shows us what we most deeply love and desire. I’ve learned that my love for acceptance and beauty can be completely met in Christ. I don’t have to earn my acceptance from God and I don’t have be a size 2 to be beautiful in his eyes. The creator of the universe already accepts me and he calls me beautiful. All of this is not because of anything I’ve done, but because of everything he’s done for me.

Fear also silences the truth and prevents us from experiencing the abundant love that the Father has for us. In God’s perfect love we can find hope and freedom from our greatest fears and we can truly live loved. I am still living in fear of the past but as I continue to be still in God’s presence, and surround myself with his truth I whole heartily believe that I will experience freedom from these fears.

I was so encouraged yesterday by the truth of God’s love in response to ours fear, and I want to leave you with some scripture that encouraged me.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
(Romans 8:15)

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.        (1 John 4:7-19)
Kati K :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Thankful Heart.

I am overwhelmed everyday by the beauty and love that are a part of my friendships here in Cincinnati! This is my first summer in Cincinnati and I'm so glad it's not my last! Cincinnati has become home to me over the last two years (I can't believe it's been two years!) but most importantly it has been a place where I have met incredible friends and where I've learned to truly lived loved by a God who is bigger and more loving than I ever could have imagined before! 

This weekend was full of friends and of all the things that I love. A small group of my friends and I (who I met my freshman year at UC) got together for a little summer grilling, and finished the meal off with a delicious homemade cake drowned in sprinkles! Since it was such a beautiful evening after dinner we all went to Eden park to a spot that looks out over the city and river, and then drove around Mt. Adams to get another beautiful view of the city from a high point. One of the highlights for sure was when at some point while driving all five of us in the car started singing to the radio without even realizing it. Not caring how terrible of singers we were (okay, maybe just me), or whether people could hear us outside, we were singing worship songs together! Windows down with my friends in the car singing praise and worship was enough to make my heart desire Jesus more and more, and to thank him for the people he's put in my life here in Cincinnati.

Tonight was also a great part of my weekend! I had the opportunity to spend it with four beautiful girl friends, who I love dearly! We took a walk to the local dairy freeze, sat on the curb enjoying our delicious ice cream, talked to our sweet, elderly neighbor who we just met for the first time (she was precious!), and then talked about life together. Again, I was completely blown away and thankful for the love and friendships that I have here in Cincinnati!

So there's one more thing that I want to mention in this post before I wrap it up. Today I was also reminded of my "other home", my first home, where I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends. I received a housewarming card in the mail from my parents and I almost found myself crying, not because I was sad, but because I was overwhelmed with a thankful heart. I am so blessed to have loving and supporting parents and I hope I never forget that. My parents love me with all of their hearts and their love means the world to me. It's because of their love that I can even start to grasp the extravagant love that my heavenly father has for me!

Kati K 

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Words can't describe the joy and happiness that my friends and I felt last night! We were so blessed to get the opportunity to spend an evening celebrating the beautiful marriage of two of our friends! The love that these two individuals have for God and for each other is so abundant and life-giving that it is contagious! I am so thankful to have been a part of it! Here are a few pictures from the night, congratulations Michael and Ashlynn!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011


So after a lot of contemplation, I've decided to join the blogging community! I've decided that I want the purpose of my blog to be about what God is doing in life, and how I am learning to live loved every single day. The blog is going to be an encouragement to me as I reflect on all the neat things that God is doing in my life, and I hope that it is encouraging for you as well! For those of you who don't know, I will be living in Cincinnati this summer, and I will be taking classes and working. I am so blessed to be living in a house with other girls who love Jesus, and I am so excited for warm weather, summer runs, and summer food! To start off my summer and my blog, I wanted to really show you the purpose of my blog through my first post. I'm an amateur with the whole blogging and writing thing, so bear with me. 

I think what causes me to worship God the most is something that we've all heard, but often don't dig deeper into. His love for us! I have been reading a book lately called "He Loves Me!" by Wayne Jacobsen, and it has caused me to thank God and praise him everyday for the love that he has for us that is FAR greater than anything else in this world. The book kind of hits on three points, the first being that we have to truly understand the gospel to understand the extent of the Fatherly love that he has for us, the second being that most of our lives aren't spent "living loved" and that as we grow in our security of his love for us we can be confident in any circumstance of God's character, and the third being that if we live everyday loved our lives will be transformed and our relationship with the Lord will see so much fruit. 

I think one point that is so critical to understand is that we can't do anything to EARN God's love, and that in it's self shows the awesomeness of God! He loves us even with the junk in our lives. There are a few things in particular from the book that I'd love to share. I probably wont be able to tell them as well as the author, but here were go..

The first story is from Luke 18:18-23 and is about the rich man who asked, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life", and Jesus replies with the commandments. The rich man says "All these I have kept from my youth." Jesus then says to the rich man, "you shall sell all you have, and then you will have treasure in heaven." Upon hearing this the man is discouraged because he is rich, and values his money. 

The author applies this story practically. Coaches don't train young high jumpers by putting the bar at world-record height and challenging them to jump it, instead they put it at a height where jumpers can successfully achieve and then over time raise it slowly. But Jesus doesn't do that in the story. Responding to the rich man's request, Jesus put the bar 50 ft in the air and said Jump that! The rich man did exactly what any athlete would do and walked away discouraged. The point of Jesus doing this was not to be mean, but to raise the bar beyond the man's ability because Jesus just wanted the man to stop trying! Nothing we do, can earn us God's love, he has already earned it for us through the cross. 

The second story is much shorter. The author talks about a married couple, in which the wife has been threatening to leave the husband, and the husband has been doing everything he can to save the marriage. As he watched his wife grow more distant, he had showed his love for her through kindness, obeying her requests, and giving her words of encouragement. Even with all of these things, the wife left him one morning. The man said this later during a conversation with another person: "I've come to realize that I had been trying to earn points with someone who simply wasn't keeping score any longer." 

As much as this story breaks my heart, it brings me back to the gospel. We spend so much of our life trying to earn points with someone who is no longer keeping score, but for far different reasons than the man and the wife. The man's wife had stopped keeping score because she was no longer interested in saving their relationship, but God has never kept score because he wants nothing more than to have a relationship with us. He has done that by not throwing our scorecard away, but by completely filling it out by himself. 

I have been overwhelmed with God's love lately and the way that he has blessed me with my family and friends. The biggest desire of my heart right now is "living loved", and I invite you to experience it with me!

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quite you by his love; he will exult over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Kati K.