Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Day 1.

That's right, this is day one. 

Day one of truly giving thought to what I will do with my life after I graduate in April. Bear with me though because this is going to be a long and slow process; don't say I didn't warn you. What I'm hoping for is that there will be many more days over the next few weeks/months just like today. Days where I'm spending time without any distractions, really searching for the right decision for my future.

It seems fitting that the first thing I should do is list my options (or what I currently see as my options) and start listing pros and cons. This list is definitely a work in progress. I'm sure I will be adding and taking away things from the list as times goes on.

But without further a do, here we go.

Option #1- Graduate, study for my RD exam, pass exam, AND find a job as a dietitian

PROS: make $, start paying off student loans, use my degree, immediately start getting experience
CONS: not sure what area of nutrition best suits me, worried I won't "enjoy work", not full time ministry

Option #2- STINT, spend a year overseas doing ministry

PROS: Get to travel, embrace a culture that I LOVE, share Jesus with people, has eternal significance
CONS: RAISING SUPPORT, not career related/not using my degree, leaving my family/friends for a year, out of the norm, will be uncomfortable at times

Option #3- intern with CRU, stay at UC doing campus ministry 

PROS: the staff team is AWESOME, passionate about the ministry, share Jesus with people, help meet a need for women on campus
CONS: RAISING SUPPORT, fear of staying in the states and doing ministry will be a constant reminder that I'm not using my degree

Option #4- AmeriCorps or something similar for a year

PROS: getting to love and serve people in need, I'd receive a stipend
CONS: don't know enough about programs and opportunities yet

Where is my trust?

Thus says the Lord:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
    and makes flesh his strength,
    whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salt land.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
    whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:5-8

Sunday, December 8, 2013


I want to stop just saying "this is going on" and "that is going on" and instead I want to actually start doing something about the things going on in my life. 

I want to welcome God into my messy world, all while knowing that He isn't intimidated by it. In reality, an invitation is all He really wants anyway. 

I would say that there are two things going on in my life right now that I can't seem to get off my mind. The first being that I'm single and surrounded by so many friends who are in wonderful relationships. It's true, I have an ever growing desire to invite a guy into my walk with the Lord, not because I need a guy to be happy, but because I simply want it so badly. The second thing being that I graduate in April and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I desperately want clarity in whether I should pursue a job using my degree, or if I should take a leap of faith in the direction of ministry.

In reality though, what I want even more than these things is to see myself truly trust God with them.

When I started to pray about my relationship status and my future the idea of security came to mind. A quick google search lead me to this....

By definition security is:
 1. Freedom from risk or danger; safety.
 2. Freedom from doubt, anxiety, or fear; confidence. 
 3. Something that gives or assures safety.

Pretty incredible that one simple word can pack so much punch. I mean seriously, what girl doesn't experience doubt, fear or lack of confidence at some point? For me, I think many of my circumstances relate to my longing for a sense of security. My desire to find a guy who wants to pursue me, and who wants to lead me and point me to Jesus sounds pretty appealing. If I could just have that, then I'd surely be secure. Or how about my future? If I could just somehow know this instant what to do with the rest of my life, then I could definitely feel secure, right?

Obviously, we all know life doesn't work that way.

"If onlys" offer the promise that things will be better if only we had that one thing, but in reality once we get it there's always something else that we need.

Friends, if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that the promises God offers us are different. They do fulfill. They do offer us security, and there's no "if onlys". God's love for us is abounding. His acceptance of us is complete. If we believe in Him, we are secure and free.

If I can truly trust in God's ability to offer me clarity, then I know I'll be okay.  If I can without a doubt believe that my security and confidence comes from God I know that that will overflow into other areas of my life.

God offers me security every single day. He offers you security every single day. All we need to do my friends is take him up on his offer.